# Dear Abby: I’ve spoiled my grown kids for decades, they can’t even send a thank-you card

- URL: https://talkfuse.com/story/dear-abby-ive-spoiled-my-grown-kids-for-decades-they-cant-even-send-a-thank-you-card/
- Published: 2026-11-06T08:00:00+00:00
- Updated: 2026-11-06T08:21:20+00:00
- Original publisher: New York Post (publisher lean: Right)
- Original article: https://nypost.com/2026/11/06/lifestyle/dear-abby-ive-spoiled-my-grown-kids-for-decades-they-cant-even-send-a-thank-you-card/
- Topics: World

## Key points

- A retired couple want to stop paying for every family activity.
- Abby advises them to explain their financial limits and feelings.
- Discreetly pointing out an undone zipper is considerate.

## Summary

A retired couple say their grown children and grandchildren continue to expect them to pay for family outings and receive gifts without acknowledging them. Dear Abby says the family’s manners are poor, but the parents should explain that retirement has changed what they can afford and how the lack of thanks makes them feel.

The couple describe having paid for cars, education, weddings, meals and holidays over many years. They now plan to opt out of some activities, but have not yet clearly told the family about their changed finances; Abby advises holding that conversation and setting expectations. In a second letter, she says it is kind to discreetly tell someone their zipper is undone.

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Summarised by TalkFuse (https://talkfuse.com/). Quote the original publisher for the reporting and link this page for the summary and discussion.