A mother who continues to pay for her 29-year-old son's phone, internet, health insurance, subscriptions and family holidays finds herself questioning this arrangement after realising he earns good money and her other adult children pay their own way. Her chief concern is not the financial burden itself, but the fear that reducing her financial support—particularly holiday payments—will damage their relationship and result in seeing him less often. Money educator Vanessa Stoykov addresses the mother's dilemma by identifying the underlying issue: distinguishing between genuine gifts born of love and payments made out of fear that withholding money will cause the son to withdraw from the family.

Stoykov advises that there is nothing inherently wrong with supporting adult children, but emphasises the critical difference between wanting to pay and feeling obligated to pay to maintain a relationship. Rather than sudden cancellation, she recommends a calm, straightforward conversation explaining that these expenses have simply remained on the mother's accounts and that it is now time for him to assume responsibility for them. The suggestion includes practical steps such as setting a specific date (January is mentioned) and avoiding lengthy justifications about retirement or fairness, whilst keeping the conversation separate from any grievances the siblings may have.