Writer Matthew Schnipper reflects on the aftermath of his 22-month-old son Renzo's sudden death from an aneurysm, describing how he turned to the work of grief specialist David Kessler for guidance. Kessler, described as a leading authority on grief who worked alongside Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, expanded her famous five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) by adding a sixth stage, "finding meaning", following the death of his own son. The piece explores how a therapist's suggestion to live in a way that honours his late son prompted Schnipper to seek solace and understanding through music and poetry rather than conventional therapy alone.

Schnipper describes watching Kessler's online video series, When a Child Dies, weeks after Renzo's death, and grappling with concepts such as "anticipatory grief" – the preparatory grieving typically possible with expected deaths, such as those of ageing parents, which was denied to him given the suddenness of his loss. He recounts feelings of resentment towards those who had the chance to grieve gradually, and traces his own experience against Kübler-Ross's original framework from her 1969 book On Death and Dying, noting which stages resonated and which did not. The essay is a personal, reflective account of navigating catastrophic loss and searching for meaning in its wake.