Bryony Gordon says loved ones cannot make someone stop drinking or recognise addiction
Bryony Gordon writes that friends and relatives cannot make someone recognise an alcohol problem or stop drinking, despite their understandable wish to find a reliable solution. She says this matters because advice around Sober October often treats abstinence as a lifestyle reset, which can overlook the needs of people with alcohol dependence and those close to them.
Gordon says taking a break from alcohol does not necessarily teach moderation or rule out addiction: she could abstain for weeks but returned to her previous drinking when she started again. She cites England’s 2020 estimate of just over 600,000 adults with alcohol dependence and says alcohol costs the NHS about £3.5 billion a year. The article also mentions alcohol-awareness courses for Buckingham Palace staff after a staff member was arrested following a Christmas gathering, and cautions that interventions can sometimes push people away.
- Loved ones cannot make another person stop drinking.
- A month off alcohol does not prove someone can moderate.
- Interventions may strain relationships without changing drinking.
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Alcohol dependence is a medical condition affecting hundreds of thousands of people in the UK. When someone has a problematic relationship with alcohol, their friends and family members typically want to help them recognise the issue and change their behaviour, motivated by genuine care and concern.
The reality is that addiction involves factors beyond what external pressure or intervention can address. Loved ones cannot force someone to acknowledge they have a problem or sustain abstinence through willpower or support alone, regardless of their intentions.
This topic is relevant during events like Sober October, which promote taking a break from alcohol as a lifestyle change. The distinction between temporary abstinence and genuine addiction or dependence can be important for understanding both why campaigns focused on short-term breaks may not address underlying issues and why well-meaning intervention has inherent limitations.
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Originally published by Daily Mail as “As an alcoholic, people ask me all the time how they can stop a loved one drinking so much. The sad truth is you can’t cure another person’s addiction. But I hope my hard-won wisdom helps: BRYONY GORDON”.