Sophie Hunt reflects on the toll of her mother’s hidden affair
The article recounts Sophie Hunt’s childhood as the daughter of a woman having an affair with a married man, and the lasting effects of being asked to keep it secret. Hunt says the experience shaped her views of relationships, made her suppress difficult feelings and later contributed to trust problems in her marriage.
Her mother met Graham three years after separating from Hunt’s father, an alcoholic who could become violent. Hunt, then eight, grew fond of Graham, who visited several times a week and took them on holidays, but she had to hide their relationship and invent stories for friends. The affair lasted for years; Graham eventually said he would not leave his wife, and decades later Hunt’s mother died by suicide, leaving her daughter a letter urging her to find the love she never had.
In short
- Hunt was asked to keep her mother’s affair secret from age eight.
- The secrecy affected her understanding of relationships and trust.
- Her mother later left a letter urging her to find lasting love.
Explained simply
Sophie Hunt grew up after her parents separated. Her father struggled with alcohol and could be violent, and when Hunt was eight her mother began a relationship with Graham, a married man who became a regular part of family life.
Hunt says she was asked to keep the relationship secret, including from friends, and made up stories about Graham’s visits and holidays with them. The relationship lasted for years, but Graham did not leave his wife.
Hunt has said that carrying this secret affected how she understood relationships and dealt with difficult feelings, and later contributed to trust problems in her marriage. Her account also sits alongside the later loss of her mother, who died by suicide.
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Originally published by Daily Mail as “Growing up as the child of a mother who had an affair with a married man: When I was 14, mum handed me a letter to open when she died. Decades later she killed herself. Her heart-breaking message to me: ‘Find the love I never did’”.