This is a light-hearted, satirical first-person piece from The Verge in which the writer humorously defends their attempt to make the "crossbody phone strap" trend look stylish and effortless. Written in an exaggerated, self-deprecating tone, it pokes fun at fashion trend culture, tech-obsessed lifestyles and the practicalities (and absurdities) of wearing a phone slung across the body like a mini bag.

The piece runs through supposed benefits: easy access for texting and tap-to-pay, using the phone's torch as an impromptu reading light in dim bars, and fantasises about a bigger version that could also carry keys, tissues and loose change. Throughout, the tone is comic rather than factual, with references to a "$700" phone, Target Circle membership and being compared to travel presenter Rick Steves, making clear the article is a wry lifestyle op-ed rather than a hard news report.