A woman writes to a personal finance columnist expressing concern that her 72-year-old widowed mother is spending large sums on her new boyfriend, including an overseas holiday, an expensive watch and now a proposed contribution towards renovating his house. When she raised the issue, her mother accused her of only caring about her inheritance, leaving her unsure whether her worries are justified or whether she is overstepping.

Money educator Vanessa Stoykov advises that the mother, who shows no signs of incapacity, is fully entitled to spend her own money as she wishes, and that concerns about the watch, restaurants or holidays are misplaced. However, she flags the house renovation as a genuine practical issue, since it involves putting money into an asset the mother doesn't own with no guaranteed return if the relationship ends. Stoykov recommends the daughter reframe the conversation to express support for her mother's happiness while gently raising questions about her long-term financial security and independence, rather than appearing to focus on a future inheritance.