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The ultimate breakup! ‘Are We Dating the Same Guy?’ shuts down 223 groups after cheating men protest
The “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook groups have stopped accepting new posts after four and a half years, ending a network that helped women compare experiences and flag potential risks in dating. The groups became controversial because men were publicly discussed, and administrators say threats, lawsuits and complaints to Facebook contributed to the decision to wind them down.
Founded in New York in 2022, the network grew to more than 10 million women across over 250 cities. Existing posts are expected to remain searchable and open to comments, though the article says claims that attacks led to two large groups disappearing could not be independently verified. Members’ posts sometimes exposed alleged infidelity and abuse; information from a group also helped police investigate an Oregon man who pleaded guilty to coercion and domestic violence assault and was sentenced to 70 days in jail and three years’ probation.
In short
- The dating groups have stopped taking new posts.
- The network reached over 10 million women.
- Existing warnings are expected to remain searchable.
Steelman: both sides, in good faith
The strongest fair case each way — we don't pick a winner.
The case for
Supporters can argue that the groups gave women a practical way to share first-hand experiences, identify possible patterns of deception or abuse, and make more informed decisions about dating. Where formal reporting or safeguards are limited, a peer network may offer a sense of protection and help bring serious concerns to authorities.
The case against
Critics can argue that discussing identifiable men in large online groups risks spreading unverified allegations, invading privacy and causing lasting reputational harm without a fair chance to respond. Threats, legal complaints and pressure on administrators also suggest that the groups’ benefits may not justify the risks of moderating such a high-stakes forum.