In this satirical BOFH column, an office printer develops a faint squeak, prompting the narrator and colleague to contact its contracted service provider rather than risk invalidating the maintenance agreement. The narrator portrays the support process as deliberately obstructive, with the engineer requesting serial details and offering inconvenient appointment times.

Having anticipated these tactics, the narrator provides several identifying numbers immediately and accepts a next-day visit, while arranging a reserved parking space. When the engineer arrives late, he removes cones and a fake council “sink hole” warning placed by the office, setting up the next stage of the prank; the supplied extract ends there.