This is a light-hearted opinion column from OutKick's "Screencaps" feature, in which the writer recounts his own amateur golf exploits rather than reporting news, despite the headline referencing golf influencer Paige Spiranac. The author boasts about a golf video he filmed at Garland Golf Resort in Lewiston, Michigan, framing it as a self-deprecating comic performance and using it as a springboard to praise the resort's hospitality.

The writer explains that the clip was recorded after he had played roughly 152–154 holes over five days, in temperatures of around 105 degrees with humidity, and that he holds an 18 handicap under the USGA GHIN system. He stresses that the video was done in single takes with no retakes, earning him the nickname "One Take Kinsey", and thanks Garland staff including social media manager Aubrey, head pro Shane Riley and general manager Dave Sanders. Much of the piece is devoted to lauding Garland's staff and "people", contrasting it favourably with other resorts he says have disappointed him.