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Surprising tactic may be keeping couples’ sex lives alive, new survey finds
A survey of 2,500 Americans found that people in committed relationships who live separately reported the highest sex drive, suggesting that time apart may help some couples maintain desire. The findings come as many respondents said their sex lives fall short of what they want, though the survey cannot show that living apart causes stronger desire.
Those in committed relationships who did not live with their partner averaged 6.58 out of 10 for sex drive, compared with 5.90 for cohabiting partners, 5.76 for married couples and 5.68 for singles. Nearly 73% of non-cohabiting committed respondents said they felt sexual desire several times a day; by contrast, couples sharing a home reported having sex more often overall. In the full survey, 55% said they had sex less often than they would like, while 30% were fully satisfied with their intimate routine.
In short
- Couples living apart reported the highest sex drive.
- 55% said they had sex less often than they wanted.
- Couples living together reported more frequent sex overall.
Steelman: both sides, in good faith
The strongest fair case each way — we don't pick a winner.
The case for
Living separately may give partners more space to miss one another and preserve a sense of anticipation, which could support desire for some couples. The survey’s higher average sex-drive scores among committed partners living apart are consistent with that possibility, and couples may reasonably value a relationship structure that suits their intimacy and independence.
The case against
The survey cannot establish that living apart increases desire: couples who choose it may differ in age, circumstances or relationship dynamics, and reported sex drive is not the same as sexual satisfaction. Cohabiting couples reported having sex more often overall, so greater desire among non-cohabiting partners does not by itself show that separate homes produce a better intimate life.