“They’d say, ‘I guess you’ll be retiring? There won’t be any more tours?’ I’d write it down and bite my lip”: The Anchoress had a baby, not a lobotomy, and wrote a satirical song about it
The Anchoress (Catherine Anne Davies) has released a satirical single, I Had A Baby, Not A Lobotomy, inspired by the dismissive comments she received from others after becoming a mother. The song forms the lead track of her new album As We Once Were and reflects her frustration at assumptions that motherhood would end her music career, a topic that speaks to wider attitudes about women artists balancing parenthood with creative work.
Davies has said the lyrics were drawn directly from real remarks made to her after her daughter's birth five years ago, including people suggesting she would "retire" and that there would be "no more tours". Rather than respond angrily, she noted down these comments on her phone whenever they annoyed her, turning the collected "litany" into song material, which she describes as a humorous rather than furious response, and one she found therapeutic to write.
- The Anchoress wrote a satirical song about motherhood assumptions.
- Lyrics quote real remarks implying her career would end after having a baby.
- The track leads her new album, As We Once Were.
Both sides, in good faith
The strongest fair case each way — we don't pick a winner.
The case for
The comments The Anchoress received reflect deeply rooted gender bias in how women artists are treated. The repeated suggestions that motherhood would end her career exemplify unfair assumptions that tie women's identity and productivity to motherhood rather than treating parenthood and artistic work as compatible. Men touring artists rarely face such assumptions, revealing a double standard. Her satirical response appropriately highlights how women bear unique social pressure to subordinate their creative identities to motherhood.
The case against
Parenthood genuinely affects anyone's touring schedule, and asking how an artist plans to manage extensive touring with a young child reflects practical concerns rather than gender bias. Such questions are not inherently dismissive, and attributing them to sexism may overlook sincere logistical considerations that apply regardless of gender. While repeated inquiries may be tiring, framing all such questions as rooted in gender stereotypes may miss the legitimate challenges of balancing intensive professional schedules with childcare responsibilities.