My brothers ignored our dying mum for years. When she entered palliative care, they started asking about her money

An Australian woman, writing anonymously as "Rose" to money educator Vanessa Stoykov, describes how she has spent two years as her cancer-stricken mother's primary carer, handling appointments, medication, groceries and finances, while her two brothers remained largely uninvolved. Since their mother entered palliative care three weeks ago, both brothers have suddenly reappeared and begun questioning Rose about her handling of their mother's money, including one requesting bank statements to check everything was "above board", leaving Rose feeling suspected despite having kept meticulous records.

Stoykov reassures Rose that she has acted properly by keeping receipts and records, and advises her to remain transparent but not feel obliged to constantly justify herself, suggesting any financial disputes be referred to an independent solicitor rather than argued over at the bedside. She frames the conflict as a common family dynamic in which unresolved grief, guilt and uneven caregiving responsibilities surface once a parent nears death, and urges families generally to discuss ageing, power of attorney and inheritance well before a crisis, pointing to her own free "Ageing Parents and Inheritance Conversation Guide" as a resource.